My healer/elder says that the cause of all the pain and limitations within my shoulders, neck, wrists, hips, knees and feet can be traced back to my core, literally to my spine. This was a revelation to me. But deep within my soul it made perfect sense.
She also added that I needed to continue all that I was presently doing to strengthen my core, because it was working. As is my usual response to her teaching, I walked with her words resounding in my ears. As I slowly strolled alongside Sligo creek, I could hear her voice in my ears – “relax and open your heart … always.”
The key she says is forgiveness … "the more I can forgive, the more I will be able to open … open my hips, open my shoulders, and un-torque my knees and ankles. A tall order, there are things I feel like I can never forgive or forget. There are memories that haunt my soul that would make grown men shudder. Yet … it is the growing edge that calls to me in the present moment.
As I walked, I went into the dropped and open attentional state. As I dropped, I became more aware of the smells all around me. And slowly as I opened, I could feel that my right hip was not moving nearly as much as my left hip. Wow … again ... so I emphasized it a bit as I walked. And after a while, it felt normal to walk in balance.
As I surveyed the vestiges of new growth within the realm of turning leaves, it struck me how inclusive fall is in its warm luscious days and its cold dark nights alternately encouraging both growth and decay.
As I allowed myself to linger over the voices of the babbling water, I remembered something that happened in a ritual that mimicked this seasonal mix. We had invoked Inanna, the queen of heaven, and Ereshkigal, the queen of the underworld, into the same space. Two priestesses aspected them from perches where each could view the other. During the ritual they met and wept together. It was incredibly moving.
But it was Ereshkigal’s message that was presently resounding within my heart, she repeated over and over again, “I will hold you!” And as I felt her loving embrace surrounding me, I opened, I opened with fresh tears yes, but I opened nonetheless. And for that brief moment, held within the arms of my dark queen, I relaxed. And for the briefest of moments, forgiveness seemed almost possible.
The next morning in yoga class, the day’s topic was oddly enough – strengthening the core. I am no longer surprised at such synchronicity. We practiced all kinds of poses that built core strength. At the end, with tear-filled eyes, I hugged my instructor.
Holy Ereshkigal, great is your renown,
Holy Ereshkigal, we sing your praises