Before Dawn

I was thinking as I brushed my teeth last night about the saying, “It is always darkest before dawn.”

I had just spent the hour before bedtime struggling with some deep emotions and recurring paradoxes that have been erupting over and over again all this holiday season.

My healer/elder had suggested that I begin by asking my younger self what she thought about things before attempting any work. So I asked and the answer was confusing at first.

She seemed to be off the point entirely when she weakly said, “Move.”


“Move …”, was her reply.

So I got up and danced to the original Quiet Storm on our local radio station out of Howard University. After awhile, I noticed the intense pain in my left hip so I bent over and stretched. And again back to dancing till it felt right.

So I asked again. And again the same answer but this time she said, “Move …often.”

After a few exchanges, we began discussing the pain in my core that seemed to get stronger and more painful as we talked.

And soon the tears fell, as I asked …What is happening?

“It is coming … just hold on.”

What is coming? And why does it hurt so …?

“Hold on …”

And finally it hit. And the tears welled up and I opened my mouth to scream … and then I felt it. My right hip released. My back moved. My left hip moved. My shoulders relaxed. And then it was over.

What the hell was that?

“It is done.”

What the f---?

And just like that, my paradox softened and the way seemed clear …enough.


So in the words of my younger self, not to be confused with THE Younger Self, I have just two words … Hold on.

Apparently it is always darkest before dawn. And sometimes … you just have to move.

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