It must be difficult being a student of a mystic. Often I feel like I owe my students an apology.
In my defense, I feel like I am in a single continuing conversation, and the faces all start to blur at some level. So I will begin conversations with, “As we were discussing,..” and then realize ten minutes in that this person who is now in front of me has no idea to what I am referring.
And I will say to the person to whom I began the conversation, “I was talking with a dear friend and …”. And only much later does it occur to me that this may in fact be that dear person standing in front of me.
I often say things that mean something different than how it first appears. I have noticed people correcting me then immediately repeat back what I thought I had said. I cannot tell if I had that part of the conversation internally or whether what I intended to say was spoken out of order.
I find myself confused often in conversations. I am hearing things that were not spoken out loud … or something. Sometimes it is as if I maybe missed part of the conversation.
This would all be frightening, disorientating, or depressing if were not for the almost constant flow of light, beauty, joy, connection and delight that permeates almost everything I do. I am reassured by every inhale, delighted by every blooming flower and comforted by every drop of water that passes across my lips.
Life is so rich, sweet, succulent, promising and full right at this very moment.
Oh yeah, did I mention that my book is finished? I am writing the preface and making final touches on the intro. And right now, that is oh so sweet and satisfying.
Blessings of the Waxing Moon as we turn toward Beltane’s Eve.