How To Read A Rational Urban Warrior Woman

So okay, first off, there is a high probability that most of you have misread the title to this post. Oh, you probably read the urban, warrior and woman part just fine … for the most part. But the word “Rational” does not mean what you think it does. In the David Keirsey personality type system, I am classified as a Rational(NT) as opposed to an Idealist(NF), a Guardian(SJ) or an Artisan(SP). So it is not about me being reasonable, logical or even emotionless. And it is that last part that is most confusing for folks. I express plenty of emotions thank you very much, I just express them differently from other folks.

Folks who have a “NT” in their designation of a Myers-Briggs type are called Rationals because that is the name given by Dr Keirsey based on Plato’s designations. And despite the bad press about us taking over the world, we represent less than 3%-10% of the US population on average. We are often thought of as the techno geeks and sci-fi enthusiasts of film and literature. The truth is that we tend to dominate in certain fields because we find others like ourselves already there. And given how few of us there are in this country, it is a fair assumption that elsewhere we are desperately alone. It is sadly the same for Idealists, and I suspect they use to make up most of the alternative communities nationally, i.e. alternative medicine, spiritualities, etc. As certain activities become more mainstream Rationals and Idealists slowly became minorities in the very communities and industries they originated.

So much for the history lesson …

I am writing this particular post to explain how Rational women are usually misunderstood in terms of emotion. I express pretty deep emotional truths in my writings. Often folks will approach me after one such emotionally tinged post and are surprised to see me looking pretty much the way I normally look. I sometimes wonder if they are expecting to see me sobbing openly and wandering around with only one shoe -- not that there is anything wrong with that image. On the surface, nothing appears to have changed about my demeanor. The difference is that if you really look in to my eyes, you will see my pain, suffering and deep emotion. It is not stoicism, or some self-delusion about carrying on in spite of it all. I truly believe stating that I am in pain is sufficient and I find it insulting to have to put on an act to “prove it” to anyone. Many introverted Rationals express their emotions quietly, self-contained and with restraint … until it needs to be shouted to be heard.

And that is when the “Urban & Warrior” parts kick in for me. If I have to shout about my pain in order to be heard, you will hear it in my native tongue.

So let’s summarize, shall we … I express myself deeply when I write. The emotions are real and deeply felt. I will not always explicitly exhibit the extent of my emotional state, but it is there to see if you look into my eyes. If I ever have to prove it to you … back up a bit for your own safety.

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Hecate (not verified) | Thu, 04/22/2010 - 8:52pm

INTJ here. I hear what you are saying.


Anonymous (not verified) | Sun, 05/22/2011 - 6:37pm

I feel you. There is too much bs- particularly when people decide that their temperament is tantamount to truthful and ignore everyone else.
I get irked by immature extroverts or closet introverts who ignore you REPEATEDLY and then pretend you're out of line for being upset by the time they can't pretend you didn't say anything anymore. I find that the same people will ignore you if you blow up right away, too, and that it's because they just don't think that honoring what you value is important to maintaining a relationship, or even worse: that you don't know what you value at all and that it's all a mind game for their pleasure or annoyance. Then they call you passive-aggressive, aggressive, moody, touchy and temperamental. I call them "not listening".


Anonymous (not verified) | Thu, 12/02/2010 - 11:33pm

I totally can relate. especially the part about not feeling like I need to cry or prove my pain to others. It pisses me off to no end having to deal with people who expect me to prove it.


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