I am currently struggling with my inner preference for reticence. It may seem odd that a person who lives portions of her inner dialogue out loud would prefer to keep her thoughts to herself. But the truth is that I often write more openly than I would share in person. Because in the present moment, I tend to keep my thoughts to myself … unless I am teaching.
But what I am learning is that my reliance on reticence no longer serves me. I am keeping too much out of my daily conversations. I am forcing myself to say more out loud, especially those things that I thought was self-evident. And what I am discovering is that they were only self-evident to me. And this revelation is brutally startling.
I am having a really rough time with this practice. As part of my process, I feel a need to express certain ideas so I can relax my resistance. So the next few posts may be a bit raw as I empty out some of the issues that really bother me.
So consider this post a public service announcement.