2008 In Review

Reviewing my accomplishments for 2008 is sobering in many ways. Please someone remind me to think twice if I ever pray for abundance again. I accomplished a great deal, and yet I also had to drop many items from my goals list. Reminded of my outrageous to do lists from the eighties, I find myself wondering out loud at how so little has changed fundamentally.

And yet, everything has changed.

I am not the same person, yet I am beset by the same challenges time and time again. I find myself wildly scanning all around me for a glimpse of my hamster wheel. Am I running in perpetual circle along the same track again and again? Am I doomed to repeat the same lessons in different forms over and over again?

And yet, everything has changed.

For one, I am not upset about any of the items dropped from my overflowing plate. Further I can accept the reality of things needing to be scaled back and reframed with new information and new opportunities.

And yet, everything is the same.

My challenges revolve around discerning priority and focus among multitudes of equally desirable options. And it revolves around limits of time, energy and ability up against a limitless imagination and an over arching vision.

Surrounded by such lush and ripe promise, it is an agony leaving any of it to spoil, rot and decay on the vine. And yet, to pick more than I can consume or carry is itself a waste.

And yet …

The larger lesson for me is that I cannot “multitask” anymore. It is harder to rally enough energy to do just the one thing, much less twenty. And so I must pare my eternal list down to the essential and the needed.

Oh and it is agony. Which of these precious jewels will be polished and prepared? And which stones will remain rough and untouched? Agony.

And once again … I head toward transformation.