The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships: What's Going on Behind the Scene

cover of The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships: What's Going on Behind the Sceneauthor: Douglas Moseley
Naomi Mosely
ASIN or ISBN-10: 1880823225
binding: Paperback
list price: $15.95 USD
amazon price: $14.78 USD


Everyone knows it, everyone pretends not to know it, everyone sincerely believes it's not true ©¤ everyone knows it really is true. The romantic feelings don't last. Sooner or later, partners become judgmental, fearful, critical, withdrawn, controlling, dependent, overbearing, angry, rejecting¡ªwhich really means they become fully themselves, rather than showing only the pretty parts. But these darker feelings bring havoc to romance.Successful authors Douglas and Naomi Moseley expand their theme of the "dirty little secret" of romance and relationship in their newest book, updating their knowledge of relationships. How to deal with this inevitable tarnishing of romantic luster? Therapists Douglas and Naomi Moseley suggest some practical, straightforward answers in their masterful new book. The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships rejects the notion that the end of romance means failure. Rather, the authors say, the romantic phase inevitably ends, but it can be superseded by a profound experience of the passionate, ongoing love that makes an adult relationship truly worthwhile.The secret of success is found in the partners' being aware and truthful in their discovering and acknowledging the gritty truth of each other's hidden aspects: the insecure, fearful little girl and the insecure, fearful little boy who live inside adult bodies and control the adults' behavior. The inner little boy who wants mommy and acts like daddy and an inner little girl who wants daddy and acts like mommy. These emotionally young, power-hungry, control-seeking inner children will do anything to win, regardless of the cost. These subpersonalities, declare the Moseleys, are not to be damned or expunged. Rather, as parts of the whole human being, they need to be recognized and acknowledged. When they are not acknowledged when they operate unconsciously they are certain to be destructive. The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships gives special attention to sexuality and anger, detailing the connection between chronically unexpressed feelings and failed sexual intimacy, and explaining the remarkable healing value found in honest expressions of anger. It also describes, in a significant contribution to the current dialogue on child abuse, what occurs when two emotionally immature partners have children, and how, tragically, the seeds of continuing dysfunction are planted in those children. This is a book for grown-ups, to be avoided by those who are afraid of themselves, to be eagerly embraced by all who wish to explore the deep, healing truths of life with an adult partner in intimate relationship.

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