Slowing Down

I knew that something had to fundamentally change. That somehow, I had to find a way to slow down enough to pay attention to the details of life. It was these details, those mundane markers of life, which I was missing when I was speeding. I managed to draw some during my recovery from the fall and the resulting image was of a bird like woman cradling something while entering a cave. The image calmed me. As I worked with my dream however, I felt called to collect images of traffic signs. I worked for hours to collect just the right images and lovingly create a visual temporal collage of my journey. The resulting animated gif felt reassuring, even comforting.

The day before I fell ill, I spent the morning in various restorative yoga poses all the while considering my medical-intuitive’s admonition to open my Yin channels.

Meridians are classified yin or yang on the basis of the direction in which they flow on the surface of the body. Yang energy flows from the sun. Yin energy [flows] from the earth.

Yang meridians flow along the outside or back of the body, while Yin meridians flow on the inner or front side of the body. She said that the Yin channels become blocked and congested whenever a person disassociates from their body, whenever we disassociate from the realities of our lives. As I considered how tight my back and back body was, I realized that it was as if I had been in a perpetual fetal position. Always folding inward to protect my tender underbelly. This protective gesture however can also overextend the muscles of the back body while simultaneously congesting the Yin meridians that run along the front. As I massaged the painful meridian nodes along my inner thighs, belly, midriff and chest, I suddenly realized the cost of my body constantly pulling inward to avoid the crash toward which I am always headed. Painfully I began releasing the nodes using pressure and breath like I had been taught. I allowed myself to vocalize the searing pain and used my breath to keep me present and fully embodied.

After a bit, I suddenly realized why we were always being guided to open our chests and hips in yoga, again the Yin meridians. I wondered out loud if most westerners have blocked Yin meridians. Then I considered how much of the world’s population lived with hunger, fear, violence, disease, oppression, grief, drought and hunger. I began considering that maybe we all struggle to keep our Yin meridians open.

Opening from the fetal position.

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